Sunday, July 31, 2011

Self Worth

Do you ever feel like you could possibly be the worst person in the world? Obviously I know there are worse people than myself out there. I haven't killed anyone, stolen anything, committed any kind of heinous crime, but sometimes my sarcasm can go a bit too far and I'm not the nice person I want to be.
Take last night for example. I was hanging out with my friend and a friend of that friend. Let's call them Candice and Aaron. I don't know Aaron very well. Candice wanted me along to make her feel more comfortable so I went. I was kind of the third wheel the whole night and actually found it very entertaining. I felt a tiny bit bad for Aaron, since he was suppose to be on a date with Candice and I was the apparently oblivious friend who was tagging along.
At dinner I threw out a couple of my sarcastic remarks and he took them quite well. Later he said something about how girls can be really mean. I then felt bad and apologized for my comments. He told us that our comments were funny, but that some girls are really mean. I said "oh they're funny? That must be why David is still my friend."
David is a guy I met here in Provo, who now lives in Virginia. I'm not sure why, but our personalities seem to clash quite a bit and he brings out or really, I let out, my utmost sarcastic and biting side. Not something I'm very proud of. I was feeling a bit bad so I sent David a text saying sorry for always being so mean. Do you know what that boy did? He called me (granted he was driving so really it was the responsible thing to do if he was going to respond). I explained the situation and why I had been thinking about him and he told me some REALLY nice things! It made me feel better and worse (mostly better). How is it I can be so mean and yet he still sees the good side of me, recognizes my insecurities and continues to be my friend and build me up? I'm sure I don't deserve it. He's not the only one either! I could make a pretty good list of my friends who stick with me no matter what and think I'm the greatest. What's wrong with you people?! For all the praise you give me, really it's all of you who are the greatest, best friends I could ever ask for. Thanks for building me up and not giving up on this work in progress. One of these days I'll figure it out and I'll have you to thank for it.
My favorite scripture just popped into my head. D&C 121:7-9
"My son (or daughter), peace be unto they soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; though shalt triumph over all they fores. THY FRIENDS DO STAND BY THEE, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."
To all my friends, thanks for standing by me, for picking me up and cheering me on, and for always being there no matter what. You're the greatest.
Love you!

3 comments:

  1. You are the most ridiculous person I know. And I love you. You do have a good point however...there are many things wrong with me and my sanity is somewhat questionable. You may want to take that into consideration when counting the number of friends you have. Also, I think I might start calling you conehead since cheesehead is really my name, not yours. I liked your skydiving pictures. Did you see me surf!?

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  2. I wish these blogs had "Love" buttons like Facebook... :) And if you feel bad about YOUR sarcasm, then I should be eating some humble pie right now because mine is SO MUCH WORSE! Have you noticed how mean I am to your dad? I just can't HELP myself! ;)

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  3. Happy Day - I found your blog! :)

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