Sunday school musings

Yesterday in Sunday school my friend Bryan sat by me and asked me a very interesting question. It took him awhile to form the question and I'm not sure if it was exactly what he wanted when it finally came out, but it got me thinking more about something that had already been on my mind. These aren't his exact question, but what I wrote in my journal.
1. How does pride keep us from having empathy?
2. How can our striving for perfection sometimes keep us from having empathy?

Essentially he was asking me why we have a hard time forgiving other people's shortcomings. Or at least that's what I understood.

I had a few thoughts and it's been on my mind off and on since. Here goes. We don't see the full extent of someone else's trials. We don't see all the effort they are actually putting forth. Progress is often very slow and we don't or can't see the tiny steps someone else is taking on the path toward perfection the way we might see our own.

Many times we compare our lives to someone else's highlight real, but on the flip side, we compare the efforts and progress we can see in ourselves to the effort and progress we think we should be able to see in someone else. I guess it comes down to perspective and possibly communication. While we can't always see the progress someone else is making, we can talk about it. That can help us open our eyes to their struggles and triumphs and possibly help us find that empathy that keeps eluding us.

At the same time, sometimes people really aren't making progress. That can be very discouraging. When you can see so clearly what (you think) they need to change and how much it would help them. Agency is such a hard principle to accept sometimes. You can't be the one to change someone else. They have to want it for themselves and make those tiny steps to achieve it.

While we should have empathy for others and their shortcomings and we should encourage those people to not give up and to keep striving for that perfection even when it seems so far away, we also have to accept that sometimes they just aren't going to choose that for themselves and ask yourself if you can accept that in your life. Is that what you want for yourself and for them. I have seen this in decisions of family and friends and while I haven't given up on them, I have had to come to grips with the fact that there are times when they just won't be able to be where I am and while disappointing, that's just how it's going to be.

I'm going to continue thinking on this. I'm not sure if it even comes close to what Bryan was talking about, but it helped me. :)