Sometimes

You get hit in the face by something you weren't expecting at all. I go back and forth with how I feel about change. I'm usually on the dislike side of things.
I've known for a while that I'd need to find a new job sometime in the near-ish future. I didn't know exactly when, but I knew it was coming. I felt ready for change. A new job would be great. And now here it is. Time to change. Have to find a new job. You know what? I don't like it. Finding a job is hard. Then you start thinking, why? Why can't I find a job? Should I be looking somewhere else? Should I move? Where should I move? I don't want to move. And it's frustrating and makes me anxious and sad and  . . . and . . . scared. Terrified even. Where the heck am I going?! Where should I go!?
Good thing I know it'll all work out. I've just got to have some faith, keep at it, work for it, even though it's hard. Things will be okay. God has a plan. He's given me a way to get a little glimpse of the plan so I can take the steps I need to, but DEAR ME it's really not any fun at all.

So in the meantime I checked out pinterest to get some inspiration and cheer me up a little. Here is what I found. 

Never fails

Once upon a time I wrote about a guy who asked for my number at institute. He called, we went out, the end. Apparently he wasn't interested and that's okay. Wednesday at plasma as I'm leaving, this guy follows me out and asks for my number. Any guy who has the guts to just go ask a girl for her number shouldn't be rejected in my opinion (unless he appears super creepy or you don't feel good about that, neither of those applies to my situation).
So this boy adds me on facebook and we chat a bit. So far I'm not too impressed.
On the other hand, I have a small (maybe not so small) crush on my friends neighbor. Seriously so cute, really funny, smart, good listener (I'm not talking, sit down and tell him my life story, more like ask what time it is in a room of 10 people and he's the only one who pays any attention and gives me the time), motivated and on and on. I'm sure if I knew him more than the 3 short encounters we've had I could be more detailed. :) Anyway, my friend invited me to a music night last night at this boys house. We'll call this boy Ben. So, I'm definitely going to go because it's at Ben's house (Ben plays the guitar) and I figure the chances are high that he'll be there and who doesn't enjoy a good music night. I go. My friend NEVER SHOWS UP, which I found out later was because she thought I had gone to some other party. Luckily I had met most of the other people who were there before so I wasn't feeling super awkward, unluckily Ben was not there. He came home after I'd been there about an hour and a half, then left. Then came back and then left. :( It was a bit sad, but I had fun at the music night anyway. He did say I had cool pants and I was leaving (the same time he left for the second time) he winked and waved goodbye. Now I'm not going to read into the winking, actually I'm not going to read into any of it because let's be honest, there's nothing to read. BUT, he did notice that I was alive and I at least merited some recognition.
Now to my point after all of that not really very important stuff. Why is it, that the boys I'm interested in are not interested in me? Or maybe just don't show it? and the boys that are, aren't really the quality I'm looking for? Here's a better question that I don't really want to ask, why don't I take a leaf from Mr. Plasma's book and just ask out Ben? I actually know the answer to that, because I'm scared. Plain and simple. It's quite terrifying. I don't know how guys do it at all!! I even know Ben (sort of). I'm not asking a complete stranger and yet, can't do it.
Maybe the problem is me not showing interest. It's not really a secret that in flirting 101 I'd get a big fat F.
Uggghhhh, March is going to be a hard month. Dear friends, I am giving another plea for help to achieve my March challenge. As you can see I'll definitely need it. If any of you happen to know Ben . . . I wouldn't mind being set up with him. :)
Mr. Doughnut man, wherever you are, you definitely have your work cut out for you.