Happy People

 A couple weeks ago I was at a birthday party. A friend of mine came up to me and said "Cathy, you smile more than you use to. You look much happier." It was a surprise, but welcome comment and I've thought about it a lot since then. Why do I smile more? Why am I happier? Could I be doing even better? My answer to the third question was "of course!" I can always do better. This morning a friend posted a link to an article or blog or whatever you want to call it "22 Things Happy People Do Differently." This might be a bit much to disclose about myself, but these are the ones I picked out that I really want to focus and work on.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

A lift from the Philippines

I should probably keep my drama to myself and only write my sister about uplifting happy things, but I don't. I write her about my life and I may complain about dating and marriage sometimes. It happens. This reply I got from her made me smile. She's so great. My perfect man is just lost in transit and will arrive at the perfect time. 

This is her letter:

I like to think of you like Elaine S. Dalton..... She's a babe!!! But.... she was like 36 before she was married.... I don't know if she was a weirdy or anything..... but I don't feel like people that are weird make it to where she has. I got a package in the mail from Cache the other day.... If I had gotten it any sooner I wouldn't have appreciated it, but seeing as how my week was crap, my companionship was crap, I felt like crap and then at the exact right timing I got a package from him, even though he sent it to me FOREVER ago!!!! Heavenly Father has already sent you the perfect man..... he's just waiting for the right time for him to arrive so that everything else can fall into place..... like me being back in time to attend your wedding:)

I love your guts sister!!!

I looked into this and it's not actually true. Elaine S. Dalton got married when she was 22, but really that's not even the point. My sister is great, she thinks I'm great, and really do believe God has already sent me the perfect man, he's just taking a long time. 

Where is my will?

This week was a little rough. I might have had a breakdown on Wednesday. I was overdue for one. Cried it out, got a hug, had a good laugh, went running, life was good. But as I got to pondering why I had the breakdown in the first place I realized that I need to change something. First thing, don't get too invested too quickly, but after that, I realized I need to figure out where my will is. Friday night at the temple the scripture minute was Doctrine and Covenants 6:36. This was one of my themes on the mission. I sometimes struggle to look to the Lord in all things. I doubt. I fear.

This morning I read Elder Bednar's talk "That We Might "Not Shrink", because maybe my problem isn't that I don't have the faith to "be healed" or that the Lord can do something, but my problem is that I don't have the faith for him to NOT do it. Just because he can, doesn't mean that it's part of his plan and for me that's harder to accept.

"But as John and Heather and I counseled together and wrestled with these questions, we increasingly understood that if God’s will were for this good young man to be healed, then that blessing could only be received if this valiant couple first had the faith not to be healed. In other words, John and Heather needed to overcome, through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, the “natural man” (Mosiah 3:19) tendency in all of us to demand impatiently and insist incessantly on the blessings we want and believe we deserve."

I am fighting this battle with the natural man. I demand impatiently the blessings I want, think I deserve and know the Lord could grant. But that is not how it works. I have to allow my will to be swallowed up in the Lord's will. I have to accept what he gives me and sometimes that includes what he chooses not to give me. I may think I know best, and I know what the possibilities are, but I have to come to grips with the fact that sometimes, the test is to accept what doesn't happen.

So I'm working on aligning my will with the Lord's. I'm sure it will be a long trip filled with relapse and relearning the same lesson again and again. Good thing the Lord is endlessly patient with me.

Something to remember

D&C 6:36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.
Deuteronomy 1:21 Fear not, neither be discouraged.
Mark 5:36 Be not afraid, only believe.

Note to self: Remember these. 

Lord, I believe

I'm sure this will be a jumble of thoughts.

Wednesday in Institute we studied Elder Hollands talk from this past April Conference titled Lord, I Believe. You can read or listen to it here.
The teacher had us think about the mountains in our lives that we have to climb or "move", the faith it takes to do so, and the things that get in our way. Elder Holland talks about not leading with our unbelief. Don't focus on what you don't have or what you can't do. Look at what you have and start there.
The application I took out of this was attitude. My attitude. How do I see my situation? How do I see the people around me? Where is my focus?
At Institute I was thinking I didn't really even have mountains. Duh we all have mountains. God will humble you and help give you clarity. He's very considerate that way. As I have thought about my attitude and how it can lift me up or bring me down, I've been trying to be more positive, both about my situations and about the people around me. This has proven to be very difficult and I'm definitely being put to the test and sad to say, I've found myself trying to justify it.

My friend posted this video on facebook last night. Just when I was beating myself up a little for having failed in loving a certain person and it really helped me recommit. It's up to me. I choose how to react and although it's difficult and can feel like my situation controls my emotions, it's really me and I can pray for help. I can take where I am and move forward.
There are always at least two ways to see people and situations. It's up to me what I choose. I can let them bug me and hate them and be miserable, or I can remember that they are a child of God and I have no control over how they act or what they do and that's okay.I can see my situation acting on me or I can see it as an opportunity to trust God and act and see what I can learn and how I can grow.
I just have to keep smiling, keep praying, and keep using the faith I do have to move forward.
Lord, I believe. 

Ragnar 2013

Ragnar. It was hard. Trail running is not for sissies. Pretty sure my training was far far far from what it should have been. They should have told us we needed to find a beach, that's also a hill a mile high and just run up it a million times. Anyway, we planned to leave Friday morning at 8. We may have left not on time and then we stopped for lunch longer than we should have.

We were suppose to be there at 12:30 to check in and our start time was 2:30. We pulled in to park the truck at about 1:30 and then we had to wait for a tram to pick us up and ALL OF OUR CRAP and take us to the campground.

Charlie was our first runner, so we finally got all our stuff sent Charlie to the start line and he barely had time to ask for a wrist band when they started our heat. Off he went on the green trail. 3.5 miles. I was up next so I grabbed my running gear and headed for the bathroom while everyone else transported our stuff to our camp site. Darn! I wasn't there to help carry it all. I wasn't ready very long before I had to get to the start/finish line and wait for Charlie to come in for my leg of the race. He made good time and handed the timing chip off to me and then I was off to the yellow trail. 3 p.m.  4 miles. 83 degrees. gained 400 feet in a mile. That's about the same incline that stairs have. And I didn't drink much water before I got there and didn't take any with me. FAIL. Needless to say the yellow trail was my least favorite. I pretty much hated it a whole bunch. Didn't make awful time, all things considered, handed off to Kyna for the red trail and then went to camp to find some fluid. After I got some Gatorade and water I felt pretty darn good.
Camp was an interesting site. Just lots and lots and lots of tents everywhere.

We had three tents tucked in with a whole bunch of other people. We'd wait a round for a while until we got to the estimated time we thought the runner would be coming in and then we'd walk over to cheer them on as they came to the finish. I didn't run my next leg of the race until 11:00 p.m. I had the green trail. 3.5 miles in the nice cool darkness. I had a head lamp, but I didn't love it. There was a full moon and for most of it, that was enough. I had a couple stumbles, but didn't actually go down until around mile 2.5 on a very flat road of soft sand, I didn't see a little rock, tripped and ended up on my back staring up at the moon. After laying there for a few seconds, I got up and continued on. I kind of wish someone on my team had been there to witness it. I thought it was hilarious and I'm sure they would have enjoyed it as well. Ran the last half mile, up those lame sauce switch backs that every trail ended in, like a boss and finished in pretty good time. LOVED the green trail. Went to camp, changed my clothes, ate a granola bar and went to bed. Probably not my greatest plan, but I was tired.
Woke up around 6-ish and got ready for my last leg of the race. The long red trail, 7.5 miles. Cheered Charlie in as he finished his last leg and then left on mine with the sun just starting to peak over the horizon. The temps were awesome and the trail was beautiful. Our team volunteer was at the water station and it was great to have someone I knew cheering for me AND give me some food since I failed to eat anything and was super hungry. Came in somewhat strong and got some food first thing. Took it right out of my teammates hand. It felt so good to be done! Back to camp to eat and sit around, getting up occasionally to go cheer a teammate on as they came in. Poor Brenda and Jarom. They had the worst times for running. They both had to run their first two in the dark and their last one in the heat. :/ They ran it like champs though. I had it pretty good, all things considered.
I started getting pretty sore after that and headed to get a massage. That helped a bit, but it wasn't too good. We all put on our awesome shirts we made and went to wait for Jarom to come in for the team finish. We all ran in together and were just so happy to be finished.

Dinner that night was entertaining. We were all so tired we were saying all kinds of crazy things. Brenda was really struggling to put a sentence together and we all laughed pretty hard. The burgers were also ENORMOUS and it was quite the sight to watch us try and eat them.

I slept really good Saturday night. The only hitch was my 1:30 wake up for the bathroom and then when I got back to the tent I found out that the guy in the tent next to us snores. REALLY LOUD. Puts my dad's snoring to shame. I had to dig around in my stuff to find some ear plugs so I could actually go back to sleep.
My legs felt better Sunday morning. I got up and got ready and then we packed up camp and headed out.

We made it to church just outside of Zion National Park and then we went and hiked around a bit in the park.

It was a great trip and a fun race and I'd definitely do it again.I had a great team and we made some fun memories. Our inside jokes give me a good laugh at random times throughout the day and I'm grateful for the new friends I made.