7 years

Last Saturday marked the 7 year anniversary of when I came home from my mission to Spain. It kind of got lost in the day filled with cleaning house, making soup, getting a massage (long overdue), and going to Stake Conference. 7 years is a long time. Like birthdays, anniversaries of significant events in my life make me reflect on where I am and what I'm doing. It's a hard thing to balance being happy where you are and being hopeful and motivated for the future. I often find myself heavily on one side or the other of this very fine line of balance. I'm either completely complacent with where I am, thinking "why would I ever want to leave this?" OR I'm, in the words of Anne Shirley, "in the depths of despair", desperately wanting a life I don't currently have. My "ponderize" scripture for the week has actually proved very helpful to me as I struggle with finding this balance (leaning more toward the depths of despair) and work to keep optimism and hope in my life.

He has a plan. What I want right this very second may not be part of his plan for me right now. That doesn't mean I won't get it. As I was working in the temple last night, I was struck by a word that is repeated multiple times throughout an ordinance. "Preparatory" And it's the same for every patron. It doesn't matter where we are in life, we are all being prepared and we will receive God's promised blessings in his time. So after being home for 7 years, I am not anywhere close to where I thought or wanted to be. And that's okay. While I might be on plan HH, God is still on plan A. He only has one plan. Things are good and things will be good, even when they don't feel like it. God is good.