Fast Sunday

       Fast Sunday (here's a link on fasting) in my ward is more times than  not, completely amazing. The caliber of people I get to interact with is unreal. I've been trying very hard this year to actually prepare for Fast Sunday. I have been choosing someone specific to fast for and asking them what they would like me to specifically fast and pray about for them. It takes some of the burden off myself, trying to think of specific things to fast about. This month I had a person and she gave me something specific, but I also had a few other things on my mind.
       As I sat in sacrament meeting listening to everyone share their testimonies, I was amazed at how God knows each of us. How he orchestrates each of our lives, to lift and help those around us. We mutually help ourselves and others and we share and listen and serve. There were so many testimonies shared on the Book of Mormon, which has been on my mind a lot lately and one particular testimony talking about missionary work. I am so grateful for the missionaries and the work that they do. It is hard work. Physically and emotionally exhausting. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to be a missionary in Spain and for the beautiful people I was able to meet, talk to and share the gospel with. If you'd like to meet with the missionaries, click here. I may or may not have cried through a good chunk of sacrament meeting.
        When I got to Relief Society, I seriously contemplated leaving. I was emotional spent and just didn't want to interact with anyone or sit through another 45 minutes of church, but the closing song was going to be "Be Still my Soul" which is one of my favorite hymns, so I decided to stay. Whatever keeps you there right? Sarah gave a great lesson on the enabling power of the atonement. Besides the continued flow of tears the lesson brought, it was just what I needed to hear. We so often forget this aspect of the atonement, focusing on the redemptive power, which is obviously important, but the other side is equally important.

        Life is really hard. We face so many trials, big and small. We have disappointments and heartache and it is hard to see hope sometimes and to keep going. It is in these times, when we think we just can't take it anymore that we can apply the enabling power of the atonement. We can draw on the power of Jesus Christ to support and sustain us. We don't have to do it on our own. That was never the plan. He is there and this gift is extended to us 24 hours a day, every day.
        I had a meltdown at bedtime. God and I had a good discussion, there was a lot more crying, but in the end He was able to remind me of the lesson I had received just hours before. My pain was not unknown to Him, my frustration and uncertainty are known and important to Him. His plan is better than my plan, His timing better than mine. He will help me through and it will be good. So much better than I could ever hope for. He loves me. And He loves you too.