A lesson in love

We had our Stake Conference this past weekend. It was great. As usual. The theme that stuck out to me was love and kindness. And not the "find someone to love and get married!" love, but the charity and being a true disciple of Christ love; build good relationships in all aspects of your life kind of love. I felt like they quoted Elder Wirthlin's talk from 2007 a few times so I decided to watch it this morning. I recommend you watch it to. If you don't have the time for all 13 minutes, watch the last 5.

watch it here.

That right there is love in action. You wouldn't expect anything less from an apostle of God, but it still touches your heart. The fact that Elder Wirthlin keeps pressing through the talk (which was about love) despite the difficulty he goes through to just stand there is enough to bring you to tears, but then to watch Elder Nelson just go and stand there with him, supporting him both physically and emotionally. It was really a very tender moment.

And that was my lesson in love. Sometimes the only thing we can do is be there. And that's enough.

A lesson in honesty and respect

Sometimes I really suck at communicating. I have known this for a long time. I hate confrontation and will do most anything to avoid it. BUT that is not really the healthy way to deal with life. I have been on the giving end of trying to deal with things by just ignoring them. Stop talking to the person and maybe they will get the hint that I'm just not interested or don't want to deal with it. WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO DO TO ANOTHER PERSON. I fail!!! Completely fail. I am making it a goal right now to improve my communication. Life is full of hard things and they need to be faced head on. It might be hard and it might hurt, but at least everyone knows what is going on and they can move on.

I have had this happen to me a few times and it's the worst. I apologize to every person I have ever done this to. I'm sorry for the inconvenience it caused you, for any heartache it may have caused, and for just being straight up rude. Do me a favor and next time I do it, call me out on it. Tell me I'm being ridiculous and to just give you a straight answer or tell you what's wrong. No more of this beating around the bush crap. It's not fair to you or really to me either.

I try and use the excuse that I don't want to hurt your feelings. That's a load of crap. I just don't want to do hard things. It's a cowardly thing to do. Most of us are adult enough to appreciate honesty. I few months ago I had a guy tell me very tactfully that he had started dating someone so he needed to stop talking to me (basically). Did my world shatter? Not even a little. I really appreciated him telling me. I didn't have to waste my time trying to talk with him when he wasn't interested. Sure it was a little sad, but I moved on. Pretty quick actually. Obviously the longer things go the more difficult they are going to be no matter how good your communication is, but still, just face it. Have enough respect for the other person to communicate and not leave them in the dark. It's true actions speak louder than words and eventually we'll get the message by your lack of communication, but with that message might also come the message that you, are a jerk.

29 part 2

I kept trying to carve out some time to sit down and write your birthday note, but Monday’s Schmondays.  Hope yesterday was a good day. 

Anyway here is to you kid:

1. Cathy is great because she likes Ann of Green Gables.  That says a lot about her character, taste in men, and tenacity.
2. Cathy really dislikes cats. I don’t love this about Cathy, but I do love that she will still support their friends in things they like—she made me a cat stocking for Christmas.  I imagine it was quite painful for her.
3. Cathy is hilarious.  Everyone should quiet down and listen to her.  If you don’t you will miss all the wit and cleverness she has bundled up inside.  This seems like a great time to insert an L.M. Montgomery quote from Anne of the Island, ““Humor is the spiciest condiment in the feast of existence. Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them, joke over your troubles but gather strength from them, make a jest of your difficulties but overcome them.”
4. Cathy will like you even if you are really annoying.  Well maybe that just applies to me, but still she likes me even though I am really annoying.
5. Cathy can drive a stick shift.  I think that is pretty special.  It basically means she can do a million things at once.
6. Cathy is a great example of reverence. She knows when to be attentive and calm.
7. Everyone likes Cathy best. It is just a fact.
8. Cathy serves in the temple every week.  Sometimes she even goes outside of that.  Respect.
9. Cathy diligently prepares and fulfills her church callings.  The first time I met Cathy she was doing her best to track down my flighty self to faithfully fulfil her calling.  Even if it meant finding me in the middle of the street!
10. Cathy is a great runner. She gets up early to go sometimes.  I think that is pretty cool. 
11. Sassy pants Cathy is a real thing.  She is full of sass.  Just full of it.
12. Cathy is from Idaho.  Coincidently when I took the “What kind of Mormon are You?” Buzzfeed Quiz, I got Idaho Mormon.  We are supposed to be friends!
13. Cathy is helpful.  She once graciously sat in the back of a truck holding four BBQ’s down as I transported them in the heat of August. 
14. Cathy is a fantastic seamstress! She has created amazing quilts, and  I can’t even fathom how she had the patience to do them.
15. Snapchat.  Cathy’s snapchats to me are pretty great.  Too bad they disappear.
16. Cathy listens to conference talks pretty much every morning.  When I lived with her it resulted in me listening to conference talks pretty much every morning.
17. Cathy never gets mad if you leave stuff out or make a mess.  She is pretty chill that way.
18. Cathy is friendly.  She actually goes to people’s houses to say hi and visit.  That is pretty darn amazing to an introvert like me.
19. Cathy has red hair just like Anne with an ”E”.  She is just like my childhood heroine.
20. I personally think Cathy is a great sister.  At least from a bystander perspective.  She writes her sister on her mission every week! I think that is being a great sister, but you would have to ask her real sister about that.
21. Cathy is a fabulous listener. She will let you rant and rave, and be all dramatic.  She kindly listens, even really late at night and really early in the morning.
22. Cathy and our Friend Cara really enjoy the Hallmark Channel. Especially duiring Christmas time.  I am jealous of their bond.
23. She is good at cheering me up when I am feeling funky.  One time I said I am feeling in a funk and she said: “Let’s plan a trip.  Even if we don’t go!”  She is just full of wisdom.
24. Cathy is very nurturing.  She wants to help make people feel loved, comfortable, and needed.  I aspire to be like her in this way!
25. If Cathy was my real sister, like born in my family, she would be my parent’s favorite daughter.  I am glad Cathy is my friend, but I am so thankful she isn’t my real sister and that she can’t take away my favorite child status!
26. Cathy is a supportive friend.  She cheers for them at races, plays, talks, or whatever it is.  If she knows about she will be their rooting for you.
27. Cathy doesn’t care what people think if she knows something is right.  I love that about her.  She isn’t easily swayed.
28. Cathy finds hilarious memes and sends them to me. I do a lot of LOLing and J on Gchat
29. Speaking of Gchat, Cathy is my favorite person to Gchat with.  Sometimes I just review our conversations to smile.

from Kari

29

It's a fact that I'm well aware of. I'm God's favorite. There's no other explanation for ALL the amazing people I have in my life. I am often reminded of this, but never as much as on my birthday. I don't mind birthdays. I actually really like them, but I don't like to make a big deal out of mine. I don't mind if people know, but I'm not one to broadcast it to the whole world and ask for all the attention. That's fine if you do. It's your birthday and you deserve it, but that's just not me. So I always take down my birthday from facebook and keep it on the DL.
BUT other people don't always keep it on the DL for me and that's okay. This year was especially cheery on facebook and I can kind of see why people let the facebook world know it is their birthday.
My birthday cheer started on Sunday, when my dear friend Denae, aka Cheesehead, posted a poem on my facebook wall.
Dear Cathy, Here is a birthday poem for you:

There once was a cheesehead who turned twenty-nine.
She partied and danced, and looked pretty FINE!
Her friends near and far gathered to cheer
The celebration of one more blessed year.

The Cheesehead named Cathy brought joy to all;
The boys and the girls, the tall and the small.
She loved everybody; no one left out.
She made us all laugh and mended our pouts.

So on this sweet day of Dear Cathy's birth.
We all wish the Cheesehead the best birthday on Earth.

Love, Denae 

This was followed by a few people posting thinking my birthday was Sunday. Which is fine. :) Then my brother Kevin called me at midnight to make sure he was the first to wish me a happy birthday ON my birthday since he forgot my birthday last year. 

Dana posted this beauty on my wall.

And Danizza posted about 10 pictures of this handsome man.

Katie wrote me this lovely song
Sung to "oh my darling"
Happy Birthday, Cathy Dear, May you enjoy this year!
You are sweet and you are special - you have nothing to fear!
Fly on out in a few weeks, come and see your little girls -
They are funny, they are crazy, but they are my little pearls.
I will take you out to dinner or something that is fun-
Boating, biking, everglade hiking, soakin in the FL sun!
HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!!!

and posted this gem

My friend Laura got me this awesome seam ripper and made me this great cake.

 And people who wished to remain anonymous, but who I know their identity decorated my front door. 

My home teachers came by and brought me ice cream, a cupcake, and a rose and they sang happy birthday to me. My roommate Chelsea got me some delicious cake bites for a sweet birthday treat.

And every year for my birthday all I want is real mail and a man. I'll settle for the real mail, even if it made me cry. Thanks Dana.

And thank you to everyone else who text me, called me or left me a message on facebook. You brightened my day and made getting older, not so bad. I'm so grateful to have you all in my life. Thanks for helping me get through the last 29 years. I'm quite positive I couldn't have done it without you.