And so it goes

Life is full of ups and downs. I know that. But knowing it, doesn't really seem to make anything any easier. Somewhere between knowing things will be okay and how they actually feel, there is some kind of disconnect and it's much easier to get swept away in the drama and narrow vision of my experiences. Trusting in God's timing is one of the hardest trials of my life. I think it finds it's way into most of my trials. It's always about timing. It's not that the things I want and seek after are bad, it's just that it's not the time for it right now and that is not easy to swallow.
       And then there is the fact that it seems like when it rains, it pours. It's not just one thing that's hard, it's the 67 things that seem to happen consecutively or even at the same time to just really beat you down and hurt your spirit. Maybe it's partly an attitude problem and I know for sure my patience and humility need some work, but again, knowing it doesn't always make it any easier.
My friend Camille sent me this article from the LDS Ensign magazine. It was very enlightening, but this paragraph really showed me how much I need to work on my pride.
     Because patience tests us at a very personal level, our focus is often inward. But Elder Maxwell taught that “patience also helps us to realize that while we may be ready to move on, having had enough of a particular learning experience, our continued presence is often needed as a part of the learning environment of others.”³ Not only do we need patience, but others also need our patience or the example of our patience. This idea had never dawned on me, and it helped me to view patience as a noble quality, very closely tied to charity, the pure love of Christ, which “never faileth” (Moroni 7:46). 
      I don't really want to be patient so others have an example. Honestly, I'm kind of tired of being patient. My patience has run out. But I know better. I know that I need to look outward. That I need to be positive. I need to be optimistic about the future and more importantly I need to be optimistic about my present. No matter what my present is. Life changes, people change, things work out, things don't work out, and it will be okay. All of it. It will be okay. 
      “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” 
 ― Jenkin Lloyd Jones
 So today I'm going to try and be a little more grateful for the ride and keep moving forward.