You know you've made it

Last night I was hanging out with some guys from my ward. We watched the football game and somehow ended up talking about marriage. At my unmarried age, I guess that's just what we do. :) Anyhow, they wanted to hear our "lists". We all shared our 3-5 things that we're looking for in someone and then 3 of us started our own little conversation. It was more about relationships in general and not just a dating relationship.

One thing that came up was being yourself. I feel like this is something that sometimes I really struggle with. I wouldn't say that I'm a fake person, but like most people (I would say), I have a couple levels of me and most people only see the first level. Maybe you'll make it to the second once I get to know you a bit. I should label these levels and determine how many I actually have, but I haven't sat down and thought about it that much. We talked about being with people who you feel comfortable showing your weaknesses. Everyone wants to show their best self, that's natural and there is nothing wrong with that. But we are human and we are not always our best self. We have bad days and life happens. I have determined that you know you've made it as one of my good friends, one of the people I trust and feel comfortable, when I let you see those levels of me that I find to be embarrassing. The moments when I am weak and vulnerable. It takes a lot to get there. For me to have confidence in you that you love me enough, that when the moment is gone, you won't think any less of me.

I know most people wouldn't think less of me for my moments of weakness, but what I know and what I feel don't always line up. I am grateful for the people in my life who fit into this category. They love me, for me. The good, the bad and the ugly. They see my weaknesses and accept them, but don't stick me in a box. They allow me to grow and help me to do so. They listen with love and then grab me by the hand and help me along until I can do it myself.

I can think of so many people in my life who have actual made it to this point. Now that I think of it, maybe it's not that hard after all. For those of you who have seen me in my not so pretty moments and have continued to love me, I thank you. Especially those I sought out. I KNEW I would be safe. I knew I could depend on you to love me and help me through.

Interesting enough, one of the people I was talking with is one of these people. I think I may have blogged about this a couple months ago. I'm pretty sure I did. I don't know if he really understands how much I value his friendship and look to his example in loving others. He is an example of Christ like love and I feel very blessed to have people like him in my life.