Curve balls

Life can be put into so many analogies. Currently at 2:33 am on a school night, my brain is unable to really think through any of them. Baseball comes to mind with the whole curve ball thing, but really I'm not able to work through it all. I woke up an hour and a half ago. Sometimes I get up go to the bathroom and have no trouble going back to sleep and other nights I lie awake for 2+ hours thinking about how tired I'm going to be in the morning. I also think about life. Different things. Work, kids, husband, students, siblings, baby, etc. I went to the doctor yesterday. Regular check-up for baby. I'm at 32 weeks. I had a second ultrasound a month ago and he couldn't remember what it said so he went and grabbed it. Everything looks normal for baby. 4 chamber heart, 10 fingers, 10 toes, all his organs. It's me that has the problem. They found it in the first ultrasound at 20 weeks. You have a 7 cm fibroid on your uterus. What does that even mean? I wasn't completely shocked. I had been told I had a fibroid when I went in for my premarital exam, but that doctor said since I hadn't had any problems, I should just go get married, enjoy it and we'd look into it later. And then I completely forgot about it until I went in at week 24 and the doctor told me about it. I've tried not to think about it. I mean really, what can I do? It can't currently be removed. There's a baby in there whose home is my uterus and he kind of needs it. The doctor briefly said it can cause pre-term labor and then let me go. I wasn't doing well that day emotionally and really couldn't muster any questions. The next appointment we asked a few more questions about the pre-term labor. It's caused because the fibroid can prevent the uterus from stretching the way it needs to. Still, what can I do? I spent my Spring Break at school getting stuff planned for the rest of the year and my parents along with Bryan helped pack up a lot of my classroom. Less to worry about later and more prepared if it comes to having baby before school gets out. But yesterday I asked more questions. I was more emotionally stable and feeling like I could handle it. The fibroid has grown a cm since the first ultrasound. 8 cm is a significant size. It's also located right by my cervix. So in addition to pre-term labor it can also cause complication with delivery. It can get in the way and not allow the baby to drop the way he needs to, putting me at higher risk for a c-section. Awesome sauce. So now I'm at a higher risk for pre-term labor and a c-section. I wouldn't say I'm worried. They know about it. My doctor is great. He's been very upfront and to the point. I'm healthy, baby is healthy. I'm at 32 weeks right now. Babies have a 90% survival rate at 32 weeks. Those are decent odds. I can't quite put my finger on what's bothering me about the whole thing. This pregnancy was a curve ball from the start. We didn't plan to get pregnant 3 months after getting married. It has been a blessing. God's timing is always best and he of course knows what we need before we do. Now to hear that my body isn't quite what it should be, I guess is a bit disappointing. But that's not it. I just don't know. For now, I just keep praying that baby can stay and cook for at least another 5 weeks. At 37 weeks my doctor won't try to stop labor and I'll be out of school. Life gives you so many challenges. It's not easy for anyone. I think of people who can't get pregnant, those who miscarry early or late, and so many other situations. I am grateful I haven't been crazy sick. Overall, I feel like I've been pretty textbook, fibroid aside. I truly am blessed. I'll keep swinging at the curve balls and hopefully will be able to hit one out of the park.